Post by jetblitz on Apr 20, 2007 21:33:31 GMT -7
I'll give you some background to help you understand (If you would like to skip and get to why I need help, please scroll down until you see slashes like these "\\\\\\\\\\\\\"):
My family is Roman Catholic but through science and the help of my room mates here in Ramapo (and with the help of my first Bible given by Todd Friel, who I met in Ramapo in November 2006 to give a symposium called "A Case for Atheism") I became Born Again (is this the right term?) only this past February 2007. I used my scientific idea of Equivalent Exchange (I borrowed the concept from Thermodynamics) in which a person must give up something in order to gain something of equal value) to prove God's grace was HUGE and that He does exist and He hears my prayers. By proving He existed I was also able to let go of my ideology of Equivalent Exchange since I didn't need it anymore;
God will take care of me when I need Him most...
This rationale of Equivalent Exchange came from being brought up as a Roman Catholic in which penitence (confession through a priest) and penance (doing a duty like helping at the shelter) forgave sins along with praying to the rosary and to Mother Mary and the saints. I felt that if I do something bad I must do something to make the Exchange balanced. For example, let's say I steal candy from a friend. Since I did something bad I must do something to balance what I did by doing something good by helping my mother pot some bulbs. Therefore, good and bad are balanced and God won't smite me for stealing; basically I viewed things as if they were on a "scale" and if I just have more good deeds than bad deeds I would be able to get myself into Heaven.
Likewise, my friends who are Roman Catholic rationalize their drunkenness when they drink because they need to "loosen up" from a stressed week. They view Roman Catholicism and the Bible as a "reference" on how to live a good life but is now "considered outdated" in the 21st century. "As long as everyone gets along we'll live a good life." Therefore, with this logic I felt that even the Catholic teachings I learned in church could be brushed off when I sinned since I was using Equivalent Exchange ...even when I knew what I was doing was bad and I needed help stopping myself. Equivalent Exchange could not stop me from sinning; it was only able to outweigh my sins with my good deeds. I was soooo tired of feeling horrible since my sin was cyclical and repeated itself and it was controlling my life.
~~~~~~
Only when my friend/room mate (Jordan Evan M.) told me that there's nothing in this world that I can Exchange for Jesus' sacrifice to save me from my sins and death, that's when it sparked my brain. I began to test God's grace by asking him to help me and my room mates through things we couldn't control. For instance, one of my room mates needed to study for a test the next day but he needed more time since Calculus was a hard subject; basically he was screwed since the professor went too fast and my room mate had to self-teach himself. I prayed realllll hard and the next day it snowed and our college had a delayed opening; his test was in the morning and with the delayed opening it meant that his class was cancelled (there was no forecast of heavy snow).
There were more instances in which I asked for God's help, one being that I wanted to try-out for the Men's Tennis team in college in order for me to get better in tennis; I never asked to be in the team so I prepared myself to be cut from the team once try-outs were done. My passion was getting better at tennis and it was not necessary for me to be in the team. Like I predicted I was cut. But a few weeks later, my coach emailed me that she got special permission from the athletic director for me to be added into the team. God must've known that I was lying to myself since I did want to be in the team, and the only way for me to get better in tennis was to learn from better tennis players. Scientifically, this chance was rare since the tennis schedule conflicted with one of my classes; only by dropping one of my classes BEFORE I knew I would be in the Team was I able to take out the conflicting schedules.
Lastly, a miracle happened this past week (April 16, Monday - April 18, Wednesday) since this week was used for class registration for the Fall 2007 semester. I was able to get all of my classes with no problems but my 3 room mates (friends) had problems. I'll use one of them as examples.
Nursing majors in my college have a SET schedule in what order to take classes, and flexibility is hard to come by. My friend Jordan is a nursing major like me and he needed to get Anatomy and Physiology I (A&P) for Fall since A&P I is only offered in the Fall semesters and A&P II is only offered in Spring; if he does not take A&P I in Fall he must wait 1 year to take the class since we are not allowed to take A&P II without taking A&P I first, which means he will be behind in our nursing requirements; basically he's screwed since he'll graduate 1 year late. For some reason when registration opened he got kicked off the internet network and it took him 15 minutes to get back to the registration page in which all the A&P I classes were filled.
He was so mad he kicked his dresser and sad at the same time, and I told God that he doesn't deserve this since he's such a nice person (his father is a pastor). So I tried helping him find summer classes around the area but most of them were filled or were too expensive or had unfavorable schedules. On Tuesday, we found a summer class with open spots at Bergen Community College that was affordable and had a perfect schedule; we were overjoyed and he called his mother to tell her he found a class. On Wednesday morning, we checked the Community College and BAM! all the classes were filled. He got so mad that he said "I have to move to another college!" and other times when I wasn't in the same room I could hear that he was asking God "Why why why!"
Suddenly in the afternoon, something happened. Jordan's older brother who goes to the same College as us told him to go back to the registration page since there was an open slot!! With God's help, Jordan was able to get the class!!
Scientifically speaking, there was NO way that a slot would open for A&P since many medical majors need those classes; if they did not take the class during the semester they needed it, they would be behind in their major requirements. Likewise, other nursing majors could have an equal chance of getting that open slot but why did my friend get it instead?? It would be more logical to have him a year behind like the other 20 nursing majors who did not get the A&P class. I don't think Jordan was lucky; God helped him like He helped us throughout the semester because we needed Him and we prayed for His help.
So you see, I experimented and God showed himself through obvious experiences. I think the Bible said not to test God since he'll be pissed off at me but He might've made an exception for me... I found a helpful verse to help me in my Christian scientific endeavors (I'm new to using the Bible so there's a chance I'm reading this out of context; please give me other passages if they can help me): 1 Thessalonians 5:21-22 NIV says 21 Test everything. Hold on to the good. 22 Avoid every kind of evil.
The only trouble I have when I try to explain to others what I found using these experiments is that it's hard to orate since they did not feel the desperation I felt or what my friends/room mates felt when we couldn't control the events unfolding before us. Like I can't scientifically replicate the feeling since the person listening to my "story" will just look at me funny and say, "it happens to you but not to me."
~~~~~~~~
Therefore, Equivalent Exchange is not applicable to God. Jesus died for everyone and there's nothing in this world that I can give back to say "thank you" for His sacrifice. His grace is soooo vast that I don't need to do an Exchange since He loves me sooo much that he'll take care of me as long as I follow what He taught.
"Eivin, you have to understand that Jesus died for everyone. E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E. Meaning, Jesus died for everyone who died before us and those who aren't born. There's nothing you can Exchange in this world for something so HUGE (Jesus' sacrifice)." ~Jordan
Only with the help of science, my friends, and God himself was I able to become Born Again.
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My family has been given another blow (figuratively) through my big brother, Ed.
My big brother is the oldest in the family. Due to my asian culture, it is the responsibility of the oldest child to be an example for his other siblings and to honor the family name through actions, abilities, awards, etc. Throughout his teenage years he was never smart enough for our father's and in his adulthood he feels like he failed his siblings and his family since he's unsuccessful in finding a job that he could stick with or stay out of trouble with the law.
My big brother smokes, drinks, has had many speeding tickets, car accident reports and other REALLLLY bad things happen to him that would label him as a failure in my family's standards; my father is the only person that belittles my big brother with EACH failure while my mother tries to comfort him; my mother can't really stop my father from saying such mean things since he's the head of the family and she works a lot so she's not home most of the time. Big brother's been trying REALLY hard to turn his life around so he can be an example for his siblings and to make our parents proud of him (and he's been doing well) but for some reason he doesn't get a break. And due to his failures, I believe that's why he became Agnostic/ non-practicing Roman Catholic.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
This past Sunday, April 15, he got into another car incident but this time he had nothing to do with it! He didn't come home Saturday evening when he should have and he came home sobbing, crying, hysterical because he needed to tell my parents what had happened (he did not want to tell our parents since it would just label him further as a failure)!!
He let his 17 year old friend borrow his car keys so he could listen to music in my big brother's car while he went back to work at the bank. While at work he got a call from his friend that he got into an accident with another lady. I don't know much of the details but the lady is SUING my big brother when he clearly did not do any wrong!! My brother did not give CONSENT to allow that kid to take his car for a joy-ride nor did he give him the registration for the car. That "friend" of his is not taking responsibility for what happened and my brother is somehow taking all the blame. I believe while he was making a report with the police my big brother must've said that "he'll take responsibility" for the incident when he did not FULLY know what he was being charged for.
I don't want to HATE the kid but it's hard not to since he brought trouble to my entire family. I'm praying realllll hard that God takes this feeling out of me since I don't like feeling hate. I want to be different since I'm no longer my old self.
And for some reason, the lady that the kid got into an accident was the kid's RELATIVE!!! So there's a chance that my brother is being set-up (but that's just speculation since I find it a difficult probability to hit my own relative in the the highway). And now my family is being sued for a HUGE amount, and my father keeps saying "We'll have to sell the house now! Look what your so-called friends did! FRIENDS ARE YOUR CLOSEST ENEMIES! I can't believe you let this happen!"
Father also said, "Your friend, is muslim/arbic right? You can't trust them and you certainly can't befriend them." This remark inflamed me since I despise racism since God created us to be brothers/sisters and we must love each other like how Jesus loved us (those who the world cast away). What has race got to do with this incident!?
This past weekend was so brutal; my father would not let my big brother have even some time for himself to collect himself from the shock of being sued. Big brother would just lie on the basement couch, numb, under a blanket while we both watched TV and while Father drills more holes into my brother. My father would then tell ME to be careful of my friends (I hated being compared to my older siblings since I wanted to be seen as an individual; I must admit my blood was boiling and I have so much hate for my father right now since Father's been doing this to us since we were children; and for some reason during this ordeal he tells my sister not to drink so much milk since he says "milk has hormones that will hurt you" and my sister retorts back "I DRINK MILK SO I DON'T GET OSTEOPOROSIS"!! My sister was cursing my father under her breath and hating him so much.
I know it's hard to relate since I am unable to type out every detail so you the reader can FEEL our desperation, sadness, anger, fear... but this incident is tearing my family apart. I am really really really tired... really tired of my family arguing with each other with every family trouble that arises. Most importantly it tears me apart since I'm the youngest in my family and I don't know what to do.... I don't know how to help my big brother since he tries soooo hard but for some reason God isn't giving him any slack... and this incident will most likely convince him that there's no God...
Please help us.
As I write this, it feel so hard... really really hard to be a Christian... I don't want to let God down since he gave me more than enough evidence HE is here and he helped me sooo much already.
Please help me. I'm really tired... just tired of everything. This past week was horrible since that tragedy in Virginia Tech affected me since I'm a college student. If my old ideology of Equivalent Exchange was real, I would give God everything if He can just help my big brother and keep my family from tearing each other.
I'm so tired... just so tired...
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Eivin <>< 1 John 5:13-20 NIV
My family is Roman Catholic but through science and the help of my room mates here in Ramapo (and with the help of my first Bible given by Todd Friel, who I met in Ramapo in November 2006 to give a symposium called "A Case for Atheism") I became Born Again (is this the right term?) only this past February 2007. I used my scientific idea of Equivalent Exchange (I borrowed the concept from Thermodynamics) in which a person must give up something in order to gain something of equal value) to prove God's grace was HUGE and that He does exist and He hears my prayers. By proving He existed I was also able to let go of my ideology of Equivalent Exchange since I didn't need it anymore;
God will take care of me when I need Him most...
This rationale of Equivalent Exchange came from being brought up as a Roman Catholic in which penitence (confession through a priest) and penance (doing a duty like helping at the shelter) forgave sins along with praying to the rosary and to Mother Mary and the saints. I felt that if I do something bad I must do something to make the Exchange balanced. For example, let's say I steal candy from a friend. Since I did something bad I must do something to balance what I did by doing something good by helping my mother pot some bulbs. Therefore, good and bad are balanced and God won't smite me for stealing; basically I viewed things as if they were on a "scale" and if I just have more good deeds than bad deeds I would be able to get myself into Heaven.
Likewise, my friends who are Roman Catholic rationalize their drunkenness when they drink because they need to "loosen up" from a stressed week. They view Roman Catholicism and the Bible as a "reference" on how to live a good life but is now "considered outdated" in the 21st century. "As long as everyone gets along we'll live a good life." Therefore, with this logic I felt that even the Catholic teachings I learned in church could be brushed off when I sinned since I was using Equivalent Exchange ...even when I knew what I was doing was bad and I needed help stopping myself. Equivalent Exchange could not stop me from sinning; it was only able to outweigh my sins with my good deeds. I was soooo tired of feeling horrible since my sin was cyclical and repeated itself and it was controlling my life.
~~~~~~
Only when my friend/room mate (Jordan Evan M.) told me that there's nothing in this world that I can Exchange for Jesus' sacrifice to save me from my sins and death, that's when it sparked my brain. I began to test God's grace by asking him to help me and my room mates through things we couldn't control. For instance, one of my room mates needed to study for a test the next day but he needed more time since Calculus was a hard subject; basically he was screwed since the professor went too fast and my room mate had to self-teach himself. I prayed realllll hard and the next day it snowed and our college had a delayed opening; his test was in the morning and with the delayed opening it meant that his class was cancelled (there was no forecast of heavy snow).
There were more instances in which I asked for God's help, one being that I wanted to try-out for the Men's Tennis team in college in order for me to get better in tennis; I never asked to be in the team so I prepared myself to be cut from the team once try-outs were done. My passion was getting better at tennis and it was not necessary for me to be in the team. Like I predicted I was cut. But a few weeks later, my coach emailed me that she got special permission from the athletic director for me to be added into the team. God must've known that I was lying to myself since I did want to be in the team, and the only way for me to get better in tennis was to learn from better tennis players. Scientifically, this chance was rare since the tennis schedule conflicted with one of my classes; only by dropping one of my classes BEFORE I knew I would be in the Team was I able to take out the conflicting schedules.
Lastly, a miracle happened this past week (April 16, Monday - April 18, Wednesday) since this week was used for class registration for the Fall 2007 semester. I was able to get all of my classes with no problems but my 3 room mates (friends) had problems. I'll use one of them as examples.
Nursing majors in my college have a SET schedule in what order to take classes, and flexibility is hard to come by. My friend Jordan is a nursing major like me and he needed to get Anatomy and Physiology I (A&P) for Fall since A&P I is only offered in the Fall semesters and A&P II is only offered in Spring; if he does not take A&P I in Fall he must wait 1 year to take the class since we are not allowed to take A&P II without taking A&P I first, which means he will be behind in our nursing requirements; basically he's screwed since he'll graduate 1 year late. For some reason when registration opened he got kicked off the internet network and it took him 15 minutes to get back to the registration page in which all the A&P I classes were filled.
He was so mad he kicked his dresser and sad at the same time, and I told God that he doesn't deserve this since he's such a nice person (his father is a pastor). So I tried helping him find summer classes around the area but most of them were filled or were too expensive or had unfavorable schedules. On Tuesday, we found a summer class with open spots at Bergen Community College that was affordable and had a perfect schedule; we were overjoyed and he called his mother to tell her he found a class. On Wednesday morning, we checked the Community College and BAM! all the classes were filled. He got so mad that he said "I have to move to another college!" and other times when I wasn't in the same room I could hear that he was asking God "Why why why!"
Suddenly in the afternoon, something happened. Jordan's older brother who goes to the same College as us told him to go back to the registration page since there was an open slot!! With God's help, Jordan was able to get the class!!
Scientifically speaking, there was NO way that a slot would open for A&P since many medical majors need those classes; if they did not take the class during the semester they needed it, they would be behind in their major requirements. Likewise, other nursing majors could have an equal chance of getting that open slot but why did my friend get it instead?? It would be more logical to have him a year behind like the other 20 nursing majors who did not get the A&P class. I don't think Jordan was lucky; God helped him like He helped us throughout the semester because we needed Him and we prayed for His help.
So you see, I experimented and God showed himself through obvious experiences. I think the Bible said not to test God since he'll be pissed off at me but He might've made an exception for me... I found a helpful verse to help me in my Christian scientific endeavors (I'm new to using the Bible so there's a chance I'm reading this out of context; please give me other passages if they can help me): 1 Thessalonians 5:21-22 NIV says 21 Test everything. Hold on to the good. 22 Avoid every kind of evil.
The only trouble I have when I try to explain to others what I found using these experiments is that it's hard to orate since they did not feel the desperation I felt or what my friends/room mates felt when we couldn't control the events unfolding before us. Like I can't scientifically replicate the feeling since the person listening to my "story" will just look at me funny and say, "it happens to you but not to me."
~~~~~~~~
Therefore, Equivalent Exchange is not applicable to God. Jesus died for everyone and there's nothing in this world that I can give back to say "thank you" for His sacrifice. His grace is soooo vast that I don't need to do an Exchange since He loves me sooo much that he'll take care of me as long as I follow what He taught.
"Eivin, you have to understand that Jesus died for everyone. E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E. Meaning, Jesus died for everyone who died before us and those who aren't born. There's nothing you can Exchange in this world for something so HUGE (Jesus' sacrifice)." ~Jordan
Only with the help of science, my friends, and God himself was I able to become Born Again.
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
My family has been given another blow (figuratively) through my big brother, Ed.
My big brother is the oldest in the family. Due to my asian culture, it is the responsibility of the oldest child to be an example for his other siblings and to honor the family name through actions, abilities, awards, etc. Throughout his teenage years he was never smart enough for our father's and in his adulthood he feels like he failed his siblings and his family since he's unsuccessful in finding a job that he could stick with or stay out of trouble with the law.
My big brother smokes, drinks, has had many speeding tickets, car accident reports and other REALLLLY bad things happen to him that would label him as a failure in my family's standards; my father is the only person that belittles my big brother with EACH failure while my mother tries to comfort him; my mother can't really stop my father from saying such mean things since he's the head of the family and she works a lot so she's not home most of the time. Big brother's been trying REALLY hard to turn his life around so he can be an example for his siblings and to make our parents proud of him (and he's been doing well) but for some reason he doesn't get a break. And due to his failures, I believe that's why he became Agnostic/ non-practicing Roman Catholic.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
This past Sunday, April 15, he got into another car incident but this time he had nothing to do with it! He didn't come home Saturday evening when he should have and he came home sobbing, crying, hysterical because he needed to tell my parents what had happened (he did not want to tell our parents since it would just label him further as a failure)!!
He let his 17 year old friend borrow his car keys so he could listen to music in my big brother's car while he went back to work at the bank. While at work he got a call from his friend that he got into an accident with another lady. I don't know much of the details but the lady is SUING my big brother when he clearly did not do any wrong!! My brother did not give CONSENT to allow that kid to take his car for a joy-ride nor did he give him the registration for the car. That "friend" of his is not taking responsibility for what happened and my brother is somehow taking all the blame. I believe while he was making a report with the police my big brother must've said that "he'll take responsibility" for the incident when he did not FULLY know what he was being charged for.
I don't want to HATE the kid but it's hard not to since he brought trouble to my entire family. I'm praying realllll hard that God takes this feeling out of me since I don't like feeling hate. I want to be different since I'm no longer my old self.
And for some reason, the lady that the kid got into an accident was the kid's RELATIVE!!! So there's a chance that my brother is being set-up (but that's just speculation since I find it a difficult probability to hit my own relative in the the highway). And now my family is being sued for a HUGE amount, and my father keeps saying "We'll have to sell the house now! Look what your so-called friends did! FRIENDS ARE YOUR CLOSEST ENEMIES! I can't believe you let this happen!"
Father also said, "Your friend, is muslim/arbic right? You can't trust them and you certainly can't befriend them." This remark inflamed me since I despise racism since God created us to be brothers/sisters and we must love each other like how Jesus loved us (those who the world cast away). What has race got to do with this incident!?
This past weekend was so brutal; my father would not let my big brother have even some time for himself to collect himself from the shock of being sued. Big brother would just lie on the basement couch, numb, under a blanket while we both watched TV and while Father drills more holes into my brother. My father would then tell ME to be careful of my friends (I hated being compared to my older siblings since I wanted to be seen as an individual; I must admit my blood was boiling and I have so much hate for my father right now since Father's been doing this to us since we were children; and for some reason during this ordeal he tells my sister not to drink so much milk since he says "milk has hormones that will hurt you" and my sister retorts back "I DRINK MILK SO I DON'T GET OSTEOPOROSIS"!! My sister was cursing my father under her breath and hating him so much.
I know it's hard to relate since I am unable to type out every detail so you the reader can FEEL our desperation, sadness, anger, fear... but this incident is tearing my family apart. I am really really really tired... really tired of my family arguing with each other with every family trouble that arises. Most importantly it tears me apart since I'm the youngest in my family and I don't know what to do.... I don't know how to help my big brother since he tries soooo hard but for some reason God isn't giving him any slack... and this incident will most likely convince him that there's no God...
Please help us.
As I write this, it feel so hard... really really hard to be a Christian... I don't want to let God down since he gave me more than enough evidence HE is here and he helped me sooo much already.
Please help me. I'm really tired... just tired of everything. This past week was horrible since that tragedy in Virginia Tech affected me since I'm a college student. If my old ideology of Equivalent Exchange was real, I would give God everything if He can just help my big brother and keep my family from tearing each other.
I'm so tired... just so tired...
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Eivin <>< 1 John 5:13-20 NIV
